So let’s talk about the dress in more detail shall we?
Whoa, not that much detail, I still want to surprise Matt when I walk down the aisle. No, I want to talk about all of those body niggles and worries that every bride to be experiences. You know, the ones that lead to the majority of brides feeling like they have to go on a diet or extreme workout plan ahead of their wedding? I get it, it’s the day when you’re photographed the most in your entire life and you want to look back and see the image you have in your head in your photos, but what happens when you feel you have barriers to doing that?
My own personal relationship with my body image is chequered at the best of times and in the run up to wedding dress shopping it took a real nosedive and the reason behind this was definitely related to T1D.
How would I wear my pump on the day? How would I access my insulin pump? How would I manage my diabetes? Could I manage to lose weight before the final dress fitting? Could I get back into being more active ahead of the wedding?
The last 2 were big ones for me, and probably the real reason why my body image nosedived. I realised I was chasing an ideal of other peoples perception of perfection and that was so unhealthy. After all, Matt proposed to me as I am so who would I really be losing weight for? Did I honestly want to look at wedding pictures and see someone I wasn’t familiar with? I spent more time than I should have thinking about this and made some decisions that helped me get to the wedding dress shop to find my dress.
- I stopped looking at pictures of dresses in magazines
- I stopped watching Say Yes to The Dress
- I decided to choose my dress without allowing my pump to be a barrier
- I spoke to my diabetes team about using a different insulin pump for my wedding
- I wouldn’t choose a dress with the mind set “It’ll look better when I’ve lost some weight”
The perfect dress
So, I fell in love with a dress and I bought it almost a year ahead of my wedding date. I then needed to find a solution for my diabetes management on the wedding day and I was fortunate enough that Kaleido became a very real possibility for me. That first day, and pretty much every day since has seen me more invested in being more active, because I have so little baggage and don’t have to worry about what to wear to accommodate my pump. The temporary basal function is so easy to find and use that I’ve rarely forgotten to use it ahead of a walk or a swim. It’s all been so natural, I guess that’s what happens when you get to cut the literal ties that were binding you.
My first dress fitting came around a week after starting with Kaleido and I didn’t even think about having tech attached to me, a very different experience to buying my dress., where I needed to detach my pump. I also realised that I hadn’t spent a year worrying about my weight or starting an extreme workout plan that would take time away from my daughter and fiancé. Instead I’ve spent that year planning a wedding, making sure my diabetes management is catered for in a way that will enable me to just enjoy our wedding day and most importantly, I’ve learned to feel more at peace with the body I’m in. It’s mine, it’s not perfect, it may not be the prettiest, but it houses a person who loves and is very loved. What could matter more?
Niki is mumma to Moomin and fiancé to Matt and has been the director of her type 1 diabetes since 2001. When she’s not hanging out with her family, working or planning the wedding of the year, she can be found writing about her life with T1D at whatnikididnext.wordpress.com Niki is also passionate about research and living well with diabetes.